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Satred saw how well she could fit with the people I loved, and it was game over for me. Her dad had passed away only 6 months before, and we were talking about our views on afterlife, grief, how to move forward without just simply numbing the situation.
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She started to cry, and instead of feeling uncomfortable or freaked out, I just had the strongest impulse to protect her and do whatever I could to take care of her always. I wanted to hear that laugh forever. It was so considerate, and I just felt really happy to be with her. I loved seeing her so comfortable with herself and how much she could light up a room.
It might sound lame, but it was a huge moment for me. She was okay, but she just started laughing so, so hard and I wanted to hug and kiss her all over.
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I was barely wantedd eating, I was lifeless. One day unannounced, she came by, dropped off take-out from my favorite Indian restaurant, kissed my cheek, and left.
I was in love. She was so there for me, in every possible way, and I realized I want to spend the rest momeent my life doing the same. My now girlfriend was so fed up with me that she slapped me.
I know that sounds horrible, but I was being a dumb asshole and refusing to listen to any of the valid points she was making. She felt so bad, and immediately apologized. But it was this weird moment where I saw how much she cared about me and I realized I was running back and forth to my ex because I was terrified of how much I felt for my now girlfriend. Flash forward a few months, and we both admitted feelings and are now very happy together.
I later asked her if she thought it was funny or if she was just saving my ofr from embarrassment. This is what I want.
But now I was talking about a vacation we were talking. I had never just casually used the word we. And then we laughed, and sared.
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We got there, and I had this embarrassingly severe panic attack and just could not will myself to go. There is no explanation. There is nothing I can logically figure out.Trapped And Lonely
It was just instant, and only got stronger. My girlfriend and I were talking about goals and our ultimate dreams.
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